A fucked up thing happened this morning. I got up early, felt good, had just jumped on the highway well ahead of the rush and all of a sudden the cars are all braking. Several pull over to the left and the rest of us crawl forward. Then a couple cars up I spot something on the close edge of the carpool lane on my left. We crawl closer. It can't be. It is. I can't help but stare at the rag-doll'd body on the pavement outside my open window. So fresh there isn't any blood yet. Seconds old. I pass the stopped cars as two crying women emerge from the first. Traffic picks up and I zombie to work stunned. Forty five minutes later the internet says the bridge jumper never hesitated, she just climbed the fence and let go.
I though about a lot of different things today. Thought about people I know, people I love and people I don't know. I thought about the selfishness of the jumper and the lives she affected and I wondered if she thought about those people too - was it one final fuck you or did she just need to get out now?
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Thinking about it the rest of the week, in my mind's eye's memory - picturing how it must have been, she plugged her nose and jumped facing South letting the fates take their course, her back to traffic. Putting all the mental pieces together I realized that I viewed her corpse in the shadow of the bridge. Meaning she jumped facing North into oncoming traffic, possibly picking her target.
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